To you they may be animals. To us they are adopted children
who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Adapted from Rules for NON-Pet Owners Who Visit

In Memoriam

If we Didn't Have a Dog

I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.

Our house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.

All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair.

When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like a kennel.

When the doorbell rings, we could get to the door without wading through fuzzy bodies who beat us there.

We could sit on the couch and the bed the way we wanted, without taking into consideration how much space several fur bodies would need to get comfortable.

We would have money, and no guilt to go on a real vacation.

We would not be on a first-name basis with 6 veterinarians, as we put their yet unborn grandkids through college.

The most used words in our vocabulary would not be: out, sit, down, come, no, stay, and leave it ALONE.

The house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates or barriers.

We would not talk 'baby talk': 'Eat your din din'. 'Yummy yummy for the tummy'....

The house would not look like a day care center, toys everywhere.

Our pockets would not contain things like poop bags, treats and an extra leash.

We would no longer have to spell the words:
B-A-L-L, W-A-L-K, T-R-E-A-T, O-U-T, G-O, R-I-D-E, C-O-O-K-I-E

There would not have as many leaves INSIDE the house as outside.

We would not look strangely at people who think having ONE dog ties them down too much.

We would look forward to spring and the rainy season instead of dreading 'mud' season.

We would not have to answer the question 'Why do you have so many animals?' from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by someone as close to an angel as they will ever get.

How empty life would be!

hen you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later."

~ Erma Bombeck





ROBERT COANE 2011 © All rights reserved